The Cynical Side of the World
Two days before flying back to the US from Hanoi I fell into depression after something Reese said:
“Don’t get too carried away with telling people about how quickly you’re learning Vietnamese. It can come off as arrogant.”
She was totally right, and did not say it to hurt me. Out of her love for me, she wanted to make sure I kept in mind how my excitement about re-discovering Asia can appear to others. At the time she had no idea what her statement represented to me.
Why it depressed me I still don’t fully understand. But I understood the reason enough at the time to explain to Reese that what she said reminded me we were returning to “a more cynical part of the world.”
It was only a few days later I was wailing uncontrollably in front of a frightened Reese. She later told me I was crying as if I just found out someone close to me died.
When I last returned to America from Asia I had to deal with that cruelty as a 6-year-old. I’m amazed I came through the experience as well-adjusted as I am. The memory of it is too painful to dwell on.
Ever since this most recent trans-Pacific return I’ve been constantly reminded of that cynicism I dreaded my last two days in Hanoi. Americans may smile a lot, but usually it’s because they’re telling or hearing some cruel joke at someone else’s expense.
I’ve endured my fair share of wise cracks about cats gone missing near local Chinese restaurants in my life. They never bothered me much but that was because I was good enough at pretending to everyone, including myself, that they didn’t bother me. My recent decision to not hide my own Asian past has made life harder for me.
American cynicism takes on many forms and permeates the culture. Most forms of entertainment are derived from it but let me concentrate on one: satire. That’s a form of entertainment I’ve often enjoyed and even practiced myself.
Satire is perhaps the most sincere form of cynicism. Satirists attempt to communicate very serious ideas through humor. That’s not an easy task yet just about all Americans try their hands at it. The end result of that can often be a very serious argument and the phrase “I suppose my sarcasm was lost on you” is often used to negate the seriousness of the argument.
That’s when you get into the dark side of American cynicism. Satire is used often, I think, because cynicism is so pervasive in this culture. You can’t really get your point across with serious talk. Indeed, you get labeled as, among other things, condescending, pretentious, preachy, self-important, elitist and arrogant.
You can’t just say what you mean in America.
Americans want to know what you think and what your opinion is, they just won’t really listen to it unless you doctor it up as entertainment. That’s why The Daily Show is so popular and effective at making people see the flaws of their own country.
If John Stewart just stated with a straight face every night that Bush is a liar and a hypocrite on top of being too dumb for the job the show would never last. But, every night he’s saying just that and the genius part of it is even Bush supporters end up laughing and thinking, despite themselves, “yeah, that W sure is a boner of a president! Ha ha!”
I was pretty good at it, too, and produced a few successfully satirical columns for college newspapers.
One of those columns was borne of my disgust at the anti-Latino attitudes that prevailed in Moorhead, MN. I wrote a satirical column about an upcoming seminar on gang activity that included tips on how to recognized gangs and gang activity. I wrote that nobody needed to go to this presentation and listed all the signs of gang activity they needed to know.
Among the list were things like “Groups of 3 or more Latinos are always a gang” and “Anyone driving a car and listening to rap music is a gang member.” Some people “got it” and others didn’t and were very offended. A lot of those who recognized it as sarcasm told me to ignore those who took me too seriously. “They’re stupid anyway.”
I just didn’t see it that way. I actually spoke to a student from Mexico who was offended by it and explained to him that I was actually attempting to communicate the opposite of what I was literally saying. He understood and was appreciative. He even said he and a friend were later rubbing their bellies at each other, which was one of the “gang signs” I dreamed up that meant “I’ve got indigestion from eating too many burritos. Let’s rob a convenience store for some milk of magnesia.”
I thought I was being totally outlandish and outrageous in my column to the point that any idiot could see it was satire. I was shocked to be shown that I hadn’t been absurd enough.
I say the column was a success because it got people in the area thinking about prejudice toward Latinos in Moorhead. The column also landed me a short gig as a columnist at the University of Minnesota Daily college newspaper where I wrote a few more satirical pieces.
So, if American cynicism is the mother of American sarcasm then it’s created a very effective tool for persuasion and engaging public discourse. The trick, of course, is knowing how to use it properly. Used improperly, it only enflames existing conflicts of opinion and leads to more shouting than laughing.
That’s been very hard to get used to. Yes, I know I’ve lived with it for 30 of my 33 years, but for 27 of those years I learned to ignore the less-cynical person I was as Teng Ke Fu and embrace the more cynical Chris Druckenmiller.
Here I am with 27 years of solid experience living with both the good and bad sides of American cynicism and now I can hardly bear it. Like I said, maybe I am making it harder for me than I should? I should just “lighten up” and take a joke. Didn’t I know that person was being sarcastic? How stupid of me.
It’s not sarcasm. If it were sarcasm, I’d know it ‘cause few people are better at it than me. I’ve got training in it. No, nine times out of ten it’s just passive-aggressive.
Americans say exactly what they mean most of the time. It’s only when they find their feet stuck in their mouths that they resort to lying with the phrase, “Didn’t you know I was being sarcastic?”
It would be so easy for me to just go along, be a good boy and respond to bad, snide, pretend sarcasm with the same. I could also go back to pretending I don’t really speak Chinese, Spanish, French or Vietnamese very well.
While we’re at it, why don’t all the gay men and women go back to their closets and let’s re-segregate our school system so your white children don’t have to mix with those lazy, stupid blacks.
Hey, lighten up! Can’t you tell I was being sarcastic?
“Don’t get too carried away with telling people about how quickly you’re learning Vietnamese. It can come off as arrogant.”
She was totally right, and did not say it to hurt me. Out of her love for me, she wanted to make sure I kept in mind how my excitement about re-discovering Asia can appear to others. At the time she had no idea what her statement represented to me.
Why it depressed me I still don’t fully understand. But I understood the reason enough at the time to explain to Reese that what she said reminded me we were returning to “a more cynical part of the world.”
It was only a few days later I was wailing uncontrollably in front of a frightened Reese. She later told me I was crying as if I just found out someone close to me died.
When I last returned to America from Asia I had to deal with that cruelty as a 6-year-old. I’m amazed I came through the experience as well-adjusted as I am. The memory of it is too painful to dwell on.
Ever since this most recent trans-Pacific return I’ve been constantly reminded of that cynicism I dreaded my last two days in Hanoi. Americans may smile a lot, but usually it’s because they’re telling or hearing some cruel joke at someone else’s expense.
I’ve endured my fair share of wise cracks about cats gone missing near local Chinese restaurants in my life. They never bothered me much but that was because I was good enough at pretending to everyone, including myself, that they didn’t bother me. My recent decision to not hide my own Asian past has made life harder for me.
American cynicism takes on many forms and permeates the culture. Most forms of entertainment are derived from it but let me concentrate on one: satire. That’s a form of entertainment I’ve often enjoyed and even practiced myself.
Satire is perhaps the most sincere form of cynicism. Satirists attempt to communicate very serious ideas through humor. That’s not an easy task yet just about all Americans try their hands at it. The end result of that can often be a very serious argument and the phrase “I suppose my sarcasm was lost on you” is often used to negate the seriousness of the argument.
That’s when you get into the dark side of American cynicism. Satire is used often, I think, because cynicism is so pervasive in this culture. You can’t really get your point across with serious talk. Indeed, you get labeled as, among other things, condescending, pretentious, preachy, self-important, elitist and arrogant.
You can’t just say what you mean in America.
Americans want to know what you think and what your opinion is, they just won’t really listen to it unless you doctor it up as entertainment. That’s why The Daily Show is so popular and effective at making people see the flaws of their own country.
If John Stewart just stated with a straight face every night that Bush is a liar and a hypocrite on top of being too dumb for the job the show would never last. But, every night he’s saying just that and the genius part of it is even Bush supporters end up laughing and thinking, despite themselves, “yeah, that W sure is a boner of a president! Ha ha!”
I was pretty good at it, too, and produced a few successfully satirical columns for college newspapers.
One of those columns was borne of my disgust at the anti-Latino attitudes that prevailed in Moorhead, MN. I wrote a satirical column about an upcoming seminar on gang activity that included tips on how to recognized gangs and gang activity. I wrote that nobody needed to go to this presentation and listed all the signs of gang activity they needed to know.
Among the list were things like “Groups of 3 or more Latinos are always a gang” and “Anyone driving a car and listening to rap music is a gang member.” Some people “got it” and others didn’t and were very offended. A lot of those who recognized it as sarcasm told me to ignore those who took me too seriously. “They’re stupid anyway.”
I just didn’t see it that way. I actually spoke to a student from Mexico who was offended by it and explained to him that I was actually attempting to communicate the opposite of what I was literally saying. He understood and was appreciative. He even said he and a friend were later rubbing their bellies at each other, which was one of the “gang signs” I dreamed up that meant “I’ve got indigestion from eating too many burritos. Let’s rob a convenience store for some milk of magnesia.”
I thought I was being totally outlandish and outrageous in my column to the point that any idiot could see it was satire. I was shocked to be shown that I hadn’t been absurd enough.
I say the column was a success because it got people in the area thinking about prejudice toward Latinos in Moorhead. The column also landed me a short gig as a columnist at the University of Minnesota Daily college newspaper where I wrote a few more satirical pieces.
So, if American cynicism is the mother of American sarcasm then it’s created a very effective tool for persuasion and engaging public discourse. The trick, of course, is knowing how to use it properly. Used improperly, it only enflames existing conflicts of opinion and leads to more shouting than laughing.
That’s been very hard to get used to. Yes, I know I’ve lived with it for 30 of my 33 years, but for 27 of those years I learned to ignore the less-cynical person I was as Teng Ke Fu and embrace the more cynical Chris Druckenmiller.
Here I am with 27 years of solid experience living with both the good and bad sides of American cynicism and now I can hardly bear it. Like I said, maybe I am making it harder for me than I should? I should just “lighten up” and take a joke. Didn’t I know that person was being sarcastic? How stupid of me.
It’s not sarcasm. If it were sarcasm, I’d know it ‘cause few people are better at it than me. I’ve got training in it. No, nine times out of ten it’s just passive-aggressive.
Americans say exactly what they mean most of the time. It’s only when they find their feet stuck in their mouths that they resort to lying with the phrase, “Didn’t you know I was being sarcastic?”
It would be so easy for me to just go along, be a good boy and respond to bad, snide, pretend sarcasm with the same. I could also go back to pretending I don’t really speak Chinese, Spanish, French or Vietnamese very well.
While we’re at it, why don’t all the gay men and women go back to their closets and let’s re-segregate our school system so your white children don’t have to mix with those lazy, stupid blacks.
Hey, lighten up! Can’t you tell I was being sarcastic?
posted by Chris Druckenmiller at 12:26 PM
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